Published: June 19, 2010 Send to a friend
A Real Father Is Better For Childen Then As Simple ATM Machines!
CHILD RIGHTS INITIATIVE FOR SHARE PARENTING (CRISP) in association with SAVE INDIAN FAMILY FOUNDATION (SIFF), whose members are deserted Fathers and elderly citizens in India, got together and shared their love and affection with the mentally retarded children at the Mother Teresa Home, Sector 23, Chandigarh, on Father’s Day.
Though, the members offered to adopt children residing at the Mother Teresa Home, the same was denied by the home. However, the members were allowed to spend time with the children.
These deserted fathers have lost faith in judiciary and have been deprived off meeting their own blood. The members of the organisation have been seriously effected by parental alienation of children due to single parenting in divorce/separation. They now favor single parenting. These deserted fathers are given limited hours of meeting their son/daughters by the Indian Judiciary after fighting for years for simple visitation rights.
Judicial & Governmental Apathy: CRISP
“The way justice is administered, the child is separated from the father (mostly) for years! One has to “apply” for “visitation” that takes years to “grant” and even then for a paltry time. Innocent children suffer because parents are separating and are fighting for their egos! Our judicial mechanism has a deplorable understanding of child welfare based on biased and outdated social concepts. The father is a relegated to a mere “visitor”, eliminating involvement in the child’s life and are treated just as “maintenance” paying ATM machines. It virtually condemns the child. This is neither in the child’s nor the family’s interest and destroys the foundation for the future generation”, said Mandeep Puri, the coordinator, SIFF, Chandigarh Chapter.
“The Indian legal system and society at large is still based on a patriarchal mindset which considers fathers incapable of nurturing children which is incorrect. Men are as capable as women to be caregivers and bring up children in a normal way. Even if the woman (mother) assumes that the man is not a good husband, it is out of place to say he is not also a good father for the children until there is strong evidence against the father”, said Arun Kumar, a deserted father, who till now, has not seen his son, who is a year and a half years old.
“The organisation terms the judiciary as Anti-Child, Anti-Father and Anti-Family. Divorce/ Separation is between spouses. Not child and parent. This is common sense. There is no law requiring a normal father to keep away from his child, in divorce/ separation proceedings. The child has the unquestionable right to acquire love and care from both the father and the mother”, says Vikas Kapur, coordinator, CRSIP.
CRISP is an NGO formed in 2008 in Bangalore who speaks up for the Rights of Children to remain connected with and enjoy the love of both the natural parents despite being divorced or separated. Our aims and objectives are based on research findings. Our members come from all walks of life, like software engineers, doctors, teachers, businessmen, social workers, etc. which includes women and senior citizens. All family roles like grandparents, fathers, mothers, etc., are being represented. CRISP has charted a Pro-Family agenda to promote family harmony in our society.
Parental Alienation: Psychological Effects on the Child
“Parental alienation occurs when one parent estranges the children from the other parent for a personal vendetta. Children are brainwashed (used as pawns in divorce/ separation) by the dominant parent against the non-custodial parent (usually fathers). This brings a lot of mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent, and is particularly damaging to the child’s psychology and is truly Child Abuse”, added Mandeep.
“At first, it takes almost a year or two to get the Visitation rights, which is again just a formality. The father is given a hour or two to spend with his child, which ultimately is of no use. This is open violation of the law of land”, said Tejinder Singh, a member, who hailed from Rajpura to seek some love at the Mother Teresa Home.
Why is a Family institution needed in the first place? Family is the most fundamental building block of society. It builds healthy human beings and a healthy society. When the family system breaks, its leads to serious social consequences and surges in crime rates. A main contributor to teenage pregnancies is broken families. It’s well known that children from broken homes are more prone to crime.
“According to a HIGH COURT ruling, a custody case is to be decided within 90 days for the benefit of the child. But, I filed a permanent and interim custody case in November two years ago to get my 8 year old daughter, and still today, I don’t have any visitation rights. Is there any justice in this country? Can’t the judiciary see from their own eyes what’s happening in front of them? Why are they scared to give any relief to men and their parents”, said Amritpal Singh.
“I have been asked to pay maintenance for my child, but can’t see him. My application for the visitation rights for my kid has been pending since September, last year. A child is born in nine months, but you can’t get the visitation rights in nine months”, added Tejinder Saini, a father of a one year old child.
Basic right of children to access both biological parents
Implementation of UN’s Child Rights Convention and Hague’s Convention on Parental child Abduction.
Implement SHARED PARENTING / JOINT CUSTODY as a rule in separation and divorce cases.
Setting up Special Guardian Courts in every major city
Speedy and quality justice (within 3 months)
Rational and Gender neutral Family Laws (including DV Act)
Create a separate Child Welfare Ministry at the National Level and separate from WCD Ministry
Laws against International Parental Child Abduction and Child Alienation
Enroll organizations like NIMHANS to carry out research on Child Psychology of separated children. Laws to be framed based on scientific studies.
Compulsory counseling to parent-litigants on Shared Parenting for child’s welfare.
Ban child interviews of tender age children, who have not had adequate access with the noncustodial parent.
Appoint psychologists/ child psychologists as mediators and to encourage shared parenting.
Ban lawyers as mediators! They are suited for arbitration not mediation!
Ban lawyers form Family Courts (implement the Family Court Act which discourages engaging lawyers).Encourage party in person after giving adequate counseling.
Grant visitation rights to grand parents who want to have access to the grandchildren.